Let's see now. Everything is covered in snow outside. Every time I've been out so far, I've slipped on the ice, which is unnerving even if I've only fallen on my bum once. Today, I'm at home with the central heating on and under my ordinary clothes, I'm wearing my Damart long johns and undervest to shield me from the cold. I have an outdoor adventure fleece over the top of all the layers. I've got fingerless gloves on to stop my fingers freezing off while I type at my computer. I'm starting a cold and I'm feeling very sorry for myself.

So imagine how depressing it was to catch this news item from the BBC about some hearty chaps who paddling happily in the icy Serpentine in Hyde Park, proclaiming that an icy swim is what you need to cheer you up and stop you from getting colds...

Even mad dogs stay indoors in these arctic conditions, only Englishman go out in the midwinter snows!